Ohana means family.

I hope I don't seem like too much of a pessimist. Usually i'm quite a glass-half-full kind of gal. But I guess using this blog as an outlet for the negative energy is kind of the purpose. I get to say the thoughts i'm thinking but can't say to others.. or they just don't understand or want to engage with it. A lot of it is just the facts. They are negative, but they are the facts. I know other people could've responded way worse than Aaron and I have so far. That doesn't mean we don't feel sick to our stomaches throughout the day, that doesn't mean we don't cry quite often, it doesn't mean we don't wish and pray with all our heart that this wasn't happening to our baby girl but it means that we have to be realistic. Layla's future is not that bright.. which means, our future is not that bright. But if the worst of the worst happens, life will still move on. It has to. People go through the worst of the worst every day and even more terrible things happen. 
Anyways.. Today I'm excited! We have family flying in from BC for just shy of a week. My brother, his lovely wife and two kids. We are very close and haven't seen each other for a few months. In those few months they have had a new baby boy! He is one month old today and I can't wait to squish his little newborn cheeks. It will be interesting to try and compare what Layla was like at that age, if I can remember. Time flies. I remember it being pretty easy in comparison to now. Mostly sleep, eat and poop. The hardest part was the frequent night wakings for feeding. It will be a nice distraction having them for six days. Lots of walks, talks, food and drinks are on the agenda.
I can't even explain how much I miss close family and friends these days. We have some of Aaron's family near us in Ontario right now, who are awesome, but we've only been spending more time with them since September. Before that our lives were fully in BC. The people that we are closer with are there.. And it sucks that most of them don't really know our daughter very well, if at all.  We have been back twice since the move, plus the Mexico trip with my family but that doesn't feel like enough. They don't know her personality and quirks the way we do. Skype is not enough. We want to talk to our doctors about moving back in August. We both want to but most of all we want what is best for Layla. There will have to be a completely seamless transition with doctors and specialists. I don't want to be put on any multiple month waiting lists. If they say anything about her breathing and going on planes or traveling long distances not being a good idea then we will stay.