Becoming Human

I just finished this book called "Becoming Human" by Jean Vanier. Jean is the founder of L'arche, an international network of communities for people with intellectual disabilities. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in a new perspective on people with disabilities.

"So many people with disabilities are seen by their parents and families only as tragedy. They are surrounded by sad faces, sometime full of pity, sometimes tears. But every child, every person, needs to be celebrated. Only when all of our weaknesses are accepted as part of our humanity can our negative, broken self-images be transformed."

Whoa.. it's so sad but speaking from personal experience, so true.

Sometimes I will feel sorry for myself and all the extra responsibilities it requires to care for Layla. When overwhelmed with appointments and simple tasks made difficult such as having to carry her up and down the stairs, and consistently entertaining her, I get frustrated. It's quite selfish, really. Focusing on how bad this is for me. But lately, it doesn't take long before I have these "a-ha" moments, where I take a step back and look at how far she's come. I'm so thankful for her and her personality. I'm trying really hard to celebrate her on a regular basis. She deserves to be celebrated.

Unlike a typical two year old Layla needs you to present opportunities to her. She is not able to grab your hand and pull you over to the toy she wants to play with. If not given the opportunity she would be fairly content just laying on the couch over your lap, if you acknowledge her every so often and hold her hand. BUT given the opportunity to do more, we are seeing that she is actually quite a bit more capable than you would think. For example; we have sung head and shoulders to her since she was a small baby. I think she enjoys having other people move her limbs for her because it is so difficult to do on her own. In the last month or so, if you go through the first verse -"head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes.." and then stop and wait, we have noticed that sometimes she will start to move her hands up only the slightest, to try and get them up towards her head and let us know she wants to continue. This probably seems so small, but I think it's truly a miracle. At first I really doubted that that was what she was doing (and sometimes I still doubt) but I've begun to decide that it is important for us to encourage and believe in her. What harm is it if I'm incorrect? Maybe it is an involuntary movement. But how encouraging is it when we do believe? Who knows what is going on in her brain development?

I saddened for others who don't get the opportunity to see her in her elements. When she's at home and laughing her head off at my fake cough, or smirking at the wind blowing on her face as she pull the fan from her toy. When she looks you in the eyes and smiles... there is nothing like it. Life has not been easy for her but it's only getting better. With us taking that extra step to think of what we can do to help her communicate and be involved in whatever everyone else is doing I want to see her flourish. May she teach me to love more, have more patience and just be a better human being. 

Watch a movie with her cousin :)